


Hair splitting

by bunnysworld



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-17
Updated: 2013-07-10
Packaged: 2017-12-15 07:04:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 6,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/846706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnysworld/pseuds/bunnysworld
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a sequel to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/843564">Hair</a></p><p>It's not all rainbows and flowers...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1/11

**Author's Note:**

> As usual, a huge thanks to issy for betaing this and beating my non-native grammar into submission. 
> 
> This one's all nightfox's fault. She ~~pestered~~ begged me to write a sequel to Hair. And bribed me with cookies. Who can resist cookies?

Merlin came over when Arthur stood in front of the mirror. “Here, let me do this.” 

Arthur turned and smiled at him. “Thanks. Nobody ties a tie as good as you.” He held still until Merlin was done and didn’t flinch when Merlin put some finishing touches to his hair. 

When he was done, Arthur leaned in for a kiss. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’ll be here all night.” Merlin smiled and motioned to the corner of the living room. He and Lady had moved in a few months ago and she had given birth to six beautiful puppies who couldn’t be left alone for too long.

That was the reason why Arthur went to the business dinner alone. 

Or so Merlin told himself. They had gone out that night after they’d met in the park. And they had ended up in Arthur’s place and if he were honest, he hadn’t left since. He brought more of his stuff over each time he came back and then Arthur had just suggested that he’d move in completely. 

It was the best thing that ever happened to Merlin. He loved Arthur, he loved Lady, he loved his job. The opening of the next Avalon had gone smoothly and it showed that the location and the employees he’d chosen had been the right decision. In only a few months, he would open the next salon at the far end of the city. 

One of the puppies had gone exploring and Merlin caught him just before he could get stuck under the couch. The puppy in one arm, he kissed Arthur and sent him off. 

Arthur had to attend functions like that often, he was the CEO of Pendragon Industries after all. But he always found reasons to go alone. 

Merlin stroked the tiny dog’s head and carried him back to his momma. “Here you go, little one.”

Lady licked his hand and stretched out on her side so her puppies could feed. 

“You’re a good momma, Lady.” Merlin petted his dog and sat back to watch the little family. It was comforting to see them. But as much as Merlin tried to make himself believe it, more and more he wasn’t okay with Arthur brushing him off for things like that. 

There was nothing wrong with him. He hadn’t changed his hair color in months, it was his original black and his attires only were outrageous when he went to work. He knew Arthur liked him better in ‘normal’ clothes. Like the old sweatpants and the t-shirt he was wearing now. And he could dress up, he knew he looked sharp in a suit. He knew how to behave and which glass to use and he would never reach for the wrong fork. He was a successful businessman in his own right, owning three salons, why was Arthur so evasive when it came to official things? 

Miracle, the smallest puppy of the litter, came over and tried to climb onto his lap. He reached out and lifted the little dog up. “Are you going to keep me company while my boyfriend is out having fun with all his business friends?” The dog just looked at him and then started to wiggle. Merlin smiled sadly and put the puppy on his lap where it curled up and fell asleep after a huge yawn. 

Lady watched him closely. She trusted him with her babies but she obviously sensed that he wasn’t really happy.

Which was not true. He was, wasn’t he? He’d never been in a relationship before that was so fulfilling, that made him feel so whole. If it weren’t for the tiny fact that Arthur seemed to hide him from the world.


	2. 2/11

Merlin didn’t wake up when Arthur came back a few hours later. He had cuddled with Lady and the puppies for a while before he went over the plans for the next Avalon again and then switching channels aimlessly. He made sure that his pup and her babies were okay and went to bed. What was taking Arthur so long? 

In the bright light of day, he could handle it. He was Merlin, the chatty hair dresser, surrounded by his employees, who were actually more his friends than people who worked for him. It was easy to greet Arthur with a huge smile when he entered the salon during his lunch break. It was great to walk Lady in the park together. It was sweet to have long make-out sessions on the couch and it was fantastic to be balls-deep inside Arthur and make him beg for more. 

But at these hours, the doubts came back. Merlin knew he loved Arthur, there was nothing and nobody he wanted more. He could see them as old farts in their rocking chairs on the porch, still bantering or checking out the young blokes who passed by. That Arthur never took him to official functions ate at him. In the beginning, he had brushed it off. Their relationship had been new and Arthur wasn’t sure that he wouldn’t flash the flamboyant homosexual side, so that was okay. 

After a while, Merlin had watched closely. Each time there was an event in Arthur’s schedule, he found lots of reason why Merlin shouldn’t come along. First it was that Arthur thought Merlin would be bored at these dinners. Then it was most unfortunate that Arthur had to leave half an hour before Merlin could make it back from the salon. Or that he would have to stay long and Merlin had to open his business in the morning. And now, very conveniently, someone still needed to watch over Lady and her puppies. 

First, Merlin had brushed all those things off. But it became harder and harder not to think that Arthur was ashamed of him. Arthur Pendragon, who had been born with a silver spoon in his mouth, and who didn’t have to work too hard to be guaranteed a top position in one of the most influential companies in the country. It wasn’t that Arthur didn’t work hard. He had aced all his exams at university and did everything he could to keep the firm thriving. It was just the fact that he didn’t have to. And he, Merlin, the poor country boy who had worked his fingers to the bone to get that scholarship and worked night shifts to make a living while working on his degree. Maybe Arthur was brought up with a dislike of common people? 

And in nights like this, when it took Arthur ages to come back, Merlin just reached for his pillow, wrapped his arms around it and breathed in his scent. He missed him so badly. And the fact that Arthur didn’t want him to come along just hurt. 

He fell asleep and didn’t notice when Arthur finally came home, dropped his clothes in the living room and slid under the covers. Merlin woke to find himself in a tight embrace in the soft light of morning, it wasn’t too bad anymore. Arthur always came back to him.


	3. 3/11

“It’ll turn out wonderful,” Merlin carefully fastened the tin foil around some highlights of a customer. “You’ll see, sweetheart, you’ll break lots of hearts at the retirement home.”

The elderly lady giggled like a teenager and looked up at Merlin adoringly as Arthur leaned against the counter and chuckled. 

“Pumpkin pie!” Merlin twirled around and grinned. Arthur hated the pet names. He’d hated them from their very first encounter but at Avalon, Merlin was all ‘dear’, ‘honey’, ‘sweetcheeks’ and ‘golden boy’ at him. 

“Hi Merlin. It’s 1 pm and I thought you might like a break.” 

The look Arthur gave him made Merlin’s insides melt and at the same time, he wanted to jump his bones right there and then. “Let me check my schedule.” He leaved through his appointments for the day. “Doris here will need a few minutes…,” he mused, “and Leon can wash the colour out and …,” he beamed at Arthur, “I think I’ll have an hour for you, where are we going?”

Arthur held a paper bag up. “Brought some Chinese and thought we could eat it at you offi…at your break room?”

It was a bit difficult to keep the smile on his face, but Merlin gestured to the back of the salon. He had really been happy to see Arthur, loved that he surprised him with lunch. But once again, it seemed he didn’t want to be seen with him in public. 

“Is it the mascara or the eyeliner?” Closing the door firmly behind them, Merlin didn’t even turn as the question slipped out.

“What?” Arthur was already busy setting the dishes out on the small table.

“We never go out for lunch, you always bring something.”

Arthur got glasses from the little cabinet and poured them some Coke. “Yeah, we only have a few minutes of break, we shouldn’t waste them with going somewhere and waiting for our meal only to have to rush eating it then.”

Merlin sighed. 

“What is it, Merlin?” Arthur looked up and came over to where Merlin was leaning his back against the door.

Chewing his lower lip, Merlin felt silly. “Nothing.” He sighed.

“It’s not nothing.” 

Merlin sighed again as he felt Arthur’s fingertips on his cheek and his intense look trying to hold his gaze. “It’s just…we never go out. It’s like…I don’t know, I’m being silly.”

Arthur rested his hand on Merlin’s neck, gently stroking that sensitive spot there and that made it difficult for Merlin to think at all. “No, you’re not. Something’s bothering you. Tell me, please?”

Taking a deep breath, the words tumbled out of him. “It’s like you don’t want to be seen with me.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Arthur’s lips were close to Merlin’s ear and the hot breath ghosting over his skin made him shiver.

“I don’t know…it’s…you…you always go out alone. You bring food instead of us going for lunch. We’re hiding at home and here in the break room.”

Arthur pulled back for a moment. “That’s not true. We go to the park with the dogs and to footie practice and the movies and such.”

“Yeah, but that’s not…I mean…” And then Merlin didn’t mean anything any longer since Arthur kissed him softly and all he could do was moan into the kiss.

They jumped when Leon knocked at the door. “Merlin, honey, Doris is ready for her cut. Should I take over?”

Merlin groaned and cleared his throat. “Coming!”

They both chuckled at Leon’s mumbled “Good for you.”, but then Merlin pulled back and straightened his neon-colored t-shirt. 

“Gotta go. Thanks for lunch, Arthur.” A quick peck on Arthur’s lips later, Merlin made his way back to the salon and turned back into the oh-so-gay hairdresser as he joked and flirted with the old lady.


	4. 4/11

Merlin told himself he was being silly and he had too much to do anyway to wonder about stupid stuff like that. He had a few heartbreak moments when they gave away some of Lady’s puppies when they were old enough and Arthur was always there for him, comforting him, being the sweetest of all boyfriends. 

They went out to the movies, did other fun stuff and at home they had the most incredible sex ever. It was only a few weeks to the opening of the next Avalon and that kept Merlin up at night and busy during the day. 

And then the letter arrived. Merlin hadn’t meant to open Arthur’s mail which was usually delivered to his office anyway. So he had ripped the envelope open before he realized it wasn’t addressed to him. 

“Arthur!” He had dialed Arthur’s number the moment he realized his mistake.

“I’ll only be a few minutes longer, Merlin. I’ll be home in half an hour.” 

He heard Arthur smile. “Arthur…I accidentally opened a letter for you.”

“Yes?”

Merlin could hear that Arthur wasn’t upset and wondered why that was worth a call. 

“You made it.”

“I made what?” 

“You won the business man of the year award. That calls for celebration! How about we go out tonight?”

“I’m…oh! Wow. I knew I was on the nominee list, but I never thought I’d make it. There was some tough competition.”

“Congratulations, I’m so proud of you!”

“Thanks, Merlin.”

Merlin wanted to wrap his arms around Arthur and kiss him until he was dizzy. He was so full of pride that he nearly burst. “I’ll give Pedro a call and make a reservation, okay?”

“Err…how about, you give him a call and order tons of things and I’ll pick them up on my way home?”

He knew that Arthur liked the little Italian restaurant. It wasn’t too posh and very cozy and had the best pizza in town. Why he didn’t want to go there to celebrate…oh. Merlin swallowed hard. Some of Arthur’s business associates frequented the place, too. Chances were that they were seen there together on a week night. “Okay.” 

Merlin hung up and tried to swallow the lump in his throat. Miracle padded over and whined at him. Picking the young dog up, Merlin buried his face in the warm fur for a moment. He took a deep breath. Arthur was right, it was a work night and if they went out tonight, they both were tired in the morning. And both of them were in the middle of projects that were too important to miss anything due to a lack of sleep. 

So he called the restaurant, ordered a few things and went to set the table. They could have a nice meal at home, right?


	5. Chapter 5

The night of the award ceremony neared and Merlin was really excited. They hadn’t really talked about it, but if this wasn’t the right moment to show up together, he didn’t know what else would be. He bought a new sharp suit with matching shoes and a great fitting shirt, had talked different hairdos with Freya and Leon and already arranged for someone to babysit Lady and the remaining puppies. 

“When do we have to leave? Do they expect us to be there early to go through some organizational stuff with you or can we arrive fashionably late since you’re the star of the evening?” Merlin took the bowtie out of the box that went so well with his new suit. 

“Merlin?”

“Did you call a limo service? Or should we just take a taxi?”

“Merlin.”

“The dog sitter comes over at 6, so we have plenty of time.”

“Merlin, I’m…”

Finally Merlin looked up.

“Merlin, I don’t know how…” Arthur took a deep breath. “They’re not expecting me with a plus one.”

Merlin just stared.

“I thought you might be bored and Lady and the little ones still need someone and…”

“Go.” Merlin didn’t know what was worse. The disappointment or the blind hot rage that built inside him. 

“Merlin, I’m sorry.” Arthur tried to reach for him, but Merlin flinched back.

“Just go.”

“Merlin listen…”

“No, Arthur, now you listen to me. For months you’re keeping me a secret. For months it’s okay that I live here and be at your service at night but I’m obviously not good enough to be taken out for lunch or dinner. Or to occasions like this. Where you’d have to face the real world and tell them that you live with a man. I’m not good enough. You’re ashamed of me, the little hairdresser.” Merlin huffed and left the bedroom.

“Merlin!” Arthur rushed after him. “You’re getting it all wrong!”

Flinching away again as Arthur tried to grab his arm, Merlin glared. “Oh, I get it alright. Just go to your award ceremony.”

“Merlin, be reasonable!” 

Arthur put his arms around Merlin and he yelled out, shoving at Arthur’s chest. “Don’t touch me!”

Lady came over and growled at Arthur. Merlin knelt next to her, wrapping her arms around her. “It’s okay, sweetie. It’s okay.” He buried his face in her fur and knew that nothing was okay. He had to get out of here. He wasn’t some kind of dirty little secret. 

When the door fell shut a while later, Merlin let his tears fall. So that was it. The man he loved obviously wasn’t the man he had thought he was. He didn’t need to be with someone who wasn’t man enough to be seen with him. It hurt like nothing ever before. He had been dumped before, but this time he’d thought it would be forever. He had been wrong. 

A few hours later, Merlin took one last look around and then closed the door behind him. He’d packed all his stuff in boxes that were stored by the door and the things he needed right away were in a little suitcase. He took a deep breath, grabbed the leashes of his dogs and left.


	6. 6/11

Merlin had gone back to his place which seemed empty and hollow. He’d taken care of his dogs before he’d totally broken down and sobbed his heart out. He didn’t answer the phone and ignored the knocking at the door and only took the dogs out when he was sure that nobody would wait for him in the corridor or downstairs. 

Lady nudged his hand and he looked at her, tears still rolling down his face. “It’s over, Lady. We won’t go back. I’m sorry that you didn’t get so say goodbye to him, but it’s for the better. We can do without him.” He wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince the dog or himself as she licked his face and then put her head on his knee. 

On Monday morning, Merlin grabbed the dogs and left his place. He had a business to run. Freya and Leon were already waiting and since they saw that he was far from being alright, they took his customers and let him hole up in his office. 

“He’s not here, Arthur.” 

“I need to talk to him.”

Merlin smiled sadly when Freya repeated the lie that he wasn’t here, picturing the small fragile looking Freya blocking Arthur’s way into the salon. 

“I said he’s not here.”

Miracle, the little traitor, ran from his office as soon as he heard Arthur’s voice and Lady looked longingly at the door and wagged her tail.

“Hey little one. The dogs are here, so he can’t be too far. I’ll wait.”

Even hearing Arthur’s voice hurt. The tears started to well up again and Merlin bit his lower lip hard. He just couldn’t face him. 

“No, you won’t.” Leon’s voice had lost all of its queen-ish-ness. 

“Oh, I have time, he has to show up. Please, Leon, I just need to see him.”

Merlin swallowed hard and nearly gave in when he heard the pleading in Arthur’s voice. 

“He doesn’t want to see you. And now I have to ask you to hand the dog back and leave.”

“Leon, please!”

Merlin leaned his head against the wall right next to his door and drew a shuddering breath.

“Don’t make a scene, Arthur. You have brought this upon yourself. If you ever hurt him again, I’m more than happy to break more than one nail to punish you for it.”

Despite himself, Merlin almost chuckled. It was cute when Leon tried to be really scary. 

The front door was opened and closed slowly and Miracle padded back into the office, followed by Freya.

“Are you alright?”

Merlin shook his head. “No, I’m not. But thanks for making him leave.”

Freya came over and hugged him. “Anything, Merlin. And you know what? I’ll make you a tea and then we’ll decide on your new look.”

He raised an eyebrow. “My new look…”

Leon appeared in the door. “Yes, your new look. You’ve been wearing this lame haircut for too long anyway. I have a few ideas. And after a break-up, a new look does wonders!”


	7. 7/11

Whenever he came into the salon the next days, there were more flowers. When the first roses arrived, Merlin couldn’t hold back the tears. But then it made him angry. Did Arthur really think he could buy his forgiveness with flowers? So he tossed them all out, sometimes shooing the delivery guys out, very well aware of the fact that Arthur could see the entrance of the salon from his office. 

Arthur waited for him on the usual leg to the park where he took the dogs during lunch, but Merlin refused to talk to him. He knew it was a bit childish. But what was there to say? Arthur had done everything to keep him a secret, was ashamed of being seen with him, why would that be any different if he forgave him now? He’d always try to make him stay at home, always keep him away from the public eye. It wasn’t that Merlin wanted to be in the spotlight. He just wanted to share those moments with Arthur, too.

Sitting down heavily in one of the chairs after he locked the doors, Merlin looked at his reflection in the mirror. Who was that man who was staring back at him anyway? He’d never had an issue with his alter ego of Merlin, the gay hairdresser. But looking at himself now, hair blond with dark tips, mascara and lots of eyeliner around his eyes and clothes that would stand out at the CSD parade, he reached for a tissue and wiped the bright red lipstick off. Maybe it was time to say goodbye to this part of himself. For the first time in his life, it felt fake. 

Merlin heard eager paws on the tile floor and smiled when Lady ran over to greet him after their walk with Leon. Miracle found something in the corner a bit more interesting, so he only came over a bit later. 

“Merlin, your doggies are wonderful. They are so well-behaved, it’s a pleasure to walk them.” Leon dropped the leashes over the back of the chair next to Merlin’s and sat down. 

“Thanks for doing that, Leon. I hope things will calm down in a while and I can walk them myself again.”

Leon leaned over and gently wiped a tear off Merlin’s cheek. “It will get better. You did the right thing. You should have left a lot earlier.”

Merlin leaned into the touch and sighed. “I’m sorry. I should pull myself together and be a big boy.”

Shaking his head fondly, Leon squeezed Merlin’s shoulder all un-queenly-like. “We all know you miss him. And he misses you, too. He knows he messed up, otherwise he wouldn’t call every hour and send all these flowers.”

“Take them, Leon. I know you love flowers and I can’t stand looking at them. You’d do me a big favour if you just took them home.”

“Talk to him, Merlin.”

“What?”

“I said, talk to him. Make this right again, whatever ‘right’ is in this situation. But give him a chance to at least explain.”

“You just said it was the right thing to do to leave.”

Taking a deep breath, Leon got up and collected his combs and scissors. “Yes, it was. You needed to make him see that you are serious about this. But you’ve sulked long enough and you’ll only hurt yourself by doing so. Talk to him. Then you can still decide if you want him back or if that was it.” He put on plastic gloves and mixed up some dye in a small rubber dish.

“Leon?” Merlin knew Leon was right. As much as a silly queen he could be, he was a big gentle man with a huge heart and had good advice for everyone. 

“Yes, Merlin?” Leon fastened a cloak around Merlin’s neck.

“What exactly are you doing here?”

“Turning you back into yourself.”


	8. 8/11

After Leon had turned his hair back into its natural black and removed all the make-up, Merlin had kissed his cheek, took his dogs and went home.

He’d sat in the darkness for a while when his mobile rang. Should he answer it?

With a sigh, he picked it up. “Yeah?”

“Merlin!” He should have known that it was Arthur.

“Yes.”

“Merlin, don’t hang up again! Please! I…”

“You what?” It was so good to hear Arthur’s voice and at the same time it confused Merlin. 

“I need to see you. Talk to you…”

“You can talk now.” Merlin wasn’t sure if he could handle seeing Arthur now. He missed him so much, but he was not ready to forgive him. 

“Okay, thanks. I…I miss you, Merlin. My life is empty without you.”

“Hm.”

“I…listen, I know I shouldn’t have done what I did. I…”

“You what? You’re still ashamed of me, aren’t you? The fancy little hairdresser that might break out into some musical tune at any time and embarrass you in front of your important business partners? How long did you think you could keep that from me? That I wouldn’t notice that you think I embarrass you?”

“It’s not that! Merlin, listen!”

But Merlin had worked himself into a rant, jumped up and accused Arthur of everything he’d done wrong in the months they were together. He ran out of steam when he noticed that the only thing that bothered him was being kept a secret. Arthur had been wonderful in everything else.

“I deserve that, don’t I? I never thought of it that way. I never meant to…you know…keep _you_ from everyone. It’s just…you know I’m not out, don’t you?”

“You’ve got to be kidding, Arthur! You were nominated gay bachelor of the year three years in a row!”

“I never commented on those nominations.”

Merlin groaned. “Everyone knows you’re gay. They’re doing business with you anyway. You got that stupid ‘businessman of the year’ award…” The weekend he had left. 

“It’s complicated.”

“No, it’s not. You’re as gay as it gets. You like cock. Preferably up your arse. Why would anyone care?” Merlin slumped down on his couch again. 

“I wasn’t brought up like that.”

“Your father died seven years ago and you’re still not man enough to be who you are? You still let him suppress you in that way?”

“It’s not that easy to toss everything overboard that you were brought up to be and to believe.”

They both said nothing for a moment.

“I…I just can’t go on without you, Merlin. I want things to be the way they were before.”

Merlin dropped his head against the back of the couch and stared at the ceiling. “If you want them exactly like the way they were, I’m sorry, Arthur, then you’ll have to go on without me.”

It killed Merlin, but he ended the call and tossed the mobile onto the coffee table before he let his tears run freely.


	9. 9/11

Merlin tried to live his life the way before Arthur, but he was fooling himself if he said it worked. He didn’t live. He functioned. And that Arthur didn’t give up sending flowers and other things, along with messages on voicemail and texts didn’t help either. He woke up, went to work, came back home, took care of his dogs and went to sleep. 

There were only Miracle and Magic left and even though there were people who wanted to adopt them and give them good homes, Merlin refused to give them away. They were his family now. Who needed Arthur anyway?

And he didn’t have too much time to dwell on it, the opening of the next Avalon salon was just around the corner. So he stayed up late, went to the place to inspect the remodeling, held job interviews and tried to shove that little nagging voice in his head and that big aching hole in his heart aside. 

When the big opening night approached, all the other salons were closed early, so the employees could attend the opening if they wanted and Merlin knew everyone would be there. Freya had taken the dogs home where the dogsitter waited and Leon put the finishing touches to Merlin’s hair in the office of the new facility. 

“Thanks, Leon.”

“Oh, don’t think about it. I’ll just slip into something more comfortable and I’m ready to go, too.”

Merlin smiled. ‘Something more comfortable’ could mean anything with Leon, from tiny shorts to plateau boots to a little black dress. And he managed to make all of it look good, very queenly, but good. As he gathered his things, Leon showed up again, to Merlin’s surprise in a well-fitting suit and only just a hint of eyeliner. He came over, straightened Merlin’s bowtie and put a little smooch on Merlin’s temple. 

“Now go out there, open the new place and rock the show.”

“I don’t really feel like it, Leon.” Merlin sighed.

Leon patted his cheek. “I know. But I also know you can do it.”

As Merlin turned and took a deep breath before he reached for the door, Leon gave his butt an affectionate slap that made Merlin chuckle. 

The evening was a success. Merlin held a little speech and everybody had a good time with champagne and finger food. Lots of people came to congratulate him on the new store and even more just left some flowers and cards with nice messages. Leon and Freya, who looked beautiful in her short dark red dress, kept close all evening long and Merlin was thankful for that. He’d had quite a bit of distraction, but something was missing. And Merlin knew exactly what that was. 

After the last of the guests had cleared out and Merlin had locked the place up, he loosened his bowtie and shrugged his jacket off.

“Go home, Merlin, we’ll take care of cleaning up.” Freya put her hand on his arm. 

Leon had already started to collect empty glasses. 

Shaking his head, Merlin smiled at her. “No, you two go home, I’ll take care of this.”

But they refused and they had prepared the room for the first customers the next day in no time. 

“Where do you want this to go?” Freya held a huge bunch of roses and Merlin stopped in his tracks. 

“Who is it from?” 

“I don’t know, it was over there.” She pointed. “I can’t remember anyone bringing it…but there’s a card!” She plucked it out and held it out to Merlin.

Merlin took it with trembling fingers. He had a pretty good idea who these expensive flowers might be from, even though he had no idea who he’d managed to sneak them in without being seen. 

_Merlin,_

_Congratulations on the new Avalon._

_I know you will be great there, too._

_Miss you,  
A._

Leon handed him another glass of champagne when he saw Merlin paling. “From him?”

Sitting down in a chair, Merlin downed the champagne. “Yeah.”

Freya picked the card up off the floor. “You know,” she ran her hand through Merlin’s hair, “I think you should talk to him again.”

“It didn’t work. You know he wants it to be like before.” Merlin had told them about the phone call one night when they’d gone out for cocktails after work. 

“Maybe he has changed his mind?” Leon provided another glass of champagne, but Merlin just stared at it. 

“He doesn’t say so. But if he’s been here, someone would have seen him tonight, right?”

“I believe the flowers were brought with another delivery.” Freya held the phone out to Merlin. “Why don’t you give him a call?”

It hurt. It hurt so much. He wanted to share this evening with Arthur. But maybe it was better this way. He deserved better than being the dirty little secret. He deserved a man who wasn’t ashamed of his sexuality. He deserved someone who whole-heartedly answered the question with ‘yes, this is Merlin, my partner’. So he swallowed hard and shook his head. “No. It’s over. Let’s go home.”


	10. 10/11

Freya, Leon and Merlin would work in the new location for a few weeks until the new employees were confident enough to run the place on their own. 

So they kept up their routine of Leon walking the dogs and Freya getting lunch for all of them and all of them leaving together in the evening. 

Merlin still wasn’t back to his old self, but at least he started joking again and the smile on his face wasn’t all fake anymore. Soon enough, they had a few returning customers and Merlin knew they were on the right way with this location, too. 

He was just talking to Eloise while giving her the latest hip cut when his eyes fell onto the page of the magazine she was holding. 

“Everything okay, Merlin?” The young woman peeked at him from underneath her long fringe. 

He cleared his throat. “Yeah, everything okay. Nothing wrong at all.” He tried to go on, moving on auto pilot. She had just been reading an article about how Arthur Pendragon was nominated as most eligible gay bachelor of the year again and how he had accepted and would attend the gala. 

Quickly finishing up with Eloise’s cut, he asked Freya to take over, excused himself and all but ran to the office. He slumped down in his chair and closed his eyes. This was very confusing and tore everything open again. What did it mean? Arthur finally had outed himself. Merlin knew that was a huge step for him. So maybe there was hope for them after all? But then he’d attend the gala and most likely was handed some silly award or something. Which meant he told the world he was available. So Arthur was over him and ready to move on. That was good, wasn’t it? But why did it make him want to throw up if it were so good?


	11. 11/11

To keep himself from watching the coverage of the event, which was televised on some gossip channel, Merlin decided to have an all-night hair event at the new salon and his customers took to it. They were all booked until close to midnight. 

At around eleven, Freya took it upon herself to serve coffee to everyone and Merlin threw her a thankful look. He meant to keep himself busy. But that didn’t mean that he wasn’t tired. She fiddled with the remote of the tv sets, mumbling something about needing to know the results of the footie game day. Merlin rolled his eyes but let it go. He knew that she was an avid supporter of Chelsea and if he took the pleasure of being glued to the radio for game reports from her by making her work, he could at least give her a little checking of the results now. 

His head snapped up when he heard a familiar voice booming over the speakers. 

“Switch channels!” Leon – who had been on an important appointment for about three hours and only had come back a short while ago - said, a bit more bored than infuriated.

“Can’t,” Freya replied, pushing the buttons of the remote a little less quickly as she could have. “Seems the battery is dead.”

“Hand me that thing.” Leon reached for the remote but Freya held on and they struggled – a little less than they could have – before they both let go of the device. Which promptly fell into a sink where the water was running. “Oops.” 

Merlin didn’t really hear any of that, his eyes were fixed on the screen, where Arthur walked over the red carpet, stopped and smiled for the cameras and then turned to a reporter.

“Arthur, congratulations.”

He never looked better. For a fleeting moment Merlin wondered who did his hair. All blond, some highlights, blue eyes shining, a wide smile on his face. Arthur looked happy. There was a stab somewhere near Merlin’s heart and he could hardly breathe. Arthur had indeed moved on. 

“Thank you.”

“There is one question that everybody would like to ask you. Why now? After four years of you denying, you suddenly come here and…”

Before the reporter could go on, Arthur smiled gently. “If you could wait with that question for a few more minutes.” He patted the front of his jacket. “I think it will be all clear after the gala.” With that, he threw the camera another look and turned to enter the building. 

The blood rushed in Merlin’s ears as a quirky young girl explained that this was footage from earlier and that they’d now show Arthur’s explanation that they taped a bit earlier that evening. He wanted to leave, needed to get out, but his feet wouldn’t move and he couldn’t stop staring at the screen.

“…but I can’t accept this, it wouldn’t be right.” He heard Arthur say as he held up a plaque. 

Arthur stepped closer to the microphone.

“For the first time in my life, I admitted to myself that I like men.” Merlin blinked, Arthur had admitted that much earlier, why else would they have been together. But okay, this was an official speech. And now he’d missed half of what Arthur had said. 

“…but it wouldn’t be right to accept this as ‘bachelor’. I apologize if anyone was under the impression that I am single. Well, due to unfortunate events, I am at the moment.” He looked at the camera and Merlin knew that look was just for him. 

“I have been a fool to be too much of a coward to be myself. And thereby I drove away the only person I love.” He handed the plague back before he continued. “And I hope to correct that mistake soon. So I’m sorry, but I hope to work things out between him and me and then I will be off the market again.” Arthur winked as the cheers erupted.

Merlin’s scissors clattered to the floor and his knees gave way. Leon was at his side and steered him to an empty chair and Freya handed him a cup of tea. 

“Good news, eh?” Leon grinned.

“I…I don’t know…maybe…”

“Maybe what? He just outed himself for the whole world to see and he said he loves you. What are you waiting for?” Freya crossed her arms in front of her chest and gave him a stern look.

“Maybe he wasn’t talking about me. He looked so happy and confident on the red carpet. He must have found someone new.” 

“He hasn’t.”

Merlin’s head shot up once again at the voice and there he stood. Arthur. Looking like he had on TV just moments before – Merlin knew that the coverage had been taped and all this took place a while before, but his mind provided images of Arthur jumping right off the screen into the salon – in a beautiful three piece suit in a dark blue, holding a single red rose. 

“And he won’t. Since he…since I already found the one I want to be with. If that one can forgive me for being such a…,” a small smile tugged at the corners of Arthur’s lips, “clotpole.” His eyes searched Merlin’s as he continued. “I love you, Merlin, and I’m really sorry for not seeing what I did to you. It was selfish, I know that now. I hope you will forgive me.” 

Merlin just sat in shock, not even noticing that Leon had rescued the tea cup from his hands, and stared at Arthur who just looked at him with big puppy eyes.

“What are you waiting for?” Freya hissed and nudged him in arm. 

“Arthur, I…” Merlin didn’t know what to say. After all those weeks of missing, of longing, of wanting, of denying himself what he wanted most, of trying to convince himself that they were better apart, all of this was a bit too much. 

“Alright,” Leon dished out his most queenly voice, including a gesture with limp wrist. “If you don’t want him back, I’ll take him.”

Everyone laughed and Merlin got up and stepped close to Arthur. Damn, he had missed his smell, too. 

Arthur still had that expectant look on his face. “I was an arse, Merlin. Punish me all the way you want, but please…”

He didn’t get any further before he had Merlin’s arms around his neck and felt Merlin’s lips on his. 

When Merlin broke the deep kiss, he touched foreheads with Arthur. “Oh, you will be punished for this,” his eyes sparkled, “but maybe not right now.”

Arthur had wrapped his arms around Merlin’s waist. “I can wait.” He smiled but then got serious again. “I know I will have to work on myself to get to do it right. I hope you’ll help me?”

Merlin nodded. Yes, he would help Arthur getting it right. If something went wrong ever again, he wouldn’t wait for months before he’d voice his concerns. He would say it right away and he expected no less from Arthur. 

“How about…” Arthur stole another kiss, “we start right now?”

“By doing what?”

“A limousine is waiting outside to take us to Pedro’s. And if you want, we can go clubbing after dinner. We’re on the guest list of several clubs, so you can choose.”

“You know…” Merlin smiled widely. “I’d much rather have some take-out from Pedro’s and go home.”


End file.
